Monday, March 24, 2014

Maybe it's best if I don't interact with any humans, small appliances, or restaurant patios today

Yesterday morning I woke up in that strange place between annoyed and cranky for no reason that I could recall. Maybe someone had dream-annoyed me. After I went into the kitchen and started the Keurig and brewed a cup of coffee without actually putting a cup there to catch the coffee, I realized Sunday was going to be one those "Maybe it's best if I don't interact with any humans today" kind of days.

These kind of days happen. I am generally grateful when they happen on a weekend day because I can actually make it through the day without making my less-than-stellar mood anyone else's problem.

A few hours later, after vacuuming up my iPhone charge cord and having to untangle four pieces of the cord from my vacuum, I realized I should have taken the Keurig incident as a sign and escalated the day to a "Maybe it's best if I don't interact with any humans and small appliances today" kind of day.

Knowing my back-up iPhone charger was at the office, I did some quick analysis to see how long I could last without my cord and realized I would last about five hours without it. So off to the Apple store I went. On a Sunday afternoon. Basically the perfect storm of interaction with humans and small appliances. My mood was just SUPER on the walk there.

And then, as though someone thought "Let's throw one more thing her way and see how she reacts", all I could hear was music blasting from the speaker on someone's phones.

Let just preface this with two things. One, I hate speaker phone technology. Unless you are sitting in a place where you are absolutely certain no one can hear you, you can just assume that whatever music you are blasting or conversation you are having on speakerphone is annoying at least one person. Two, being an frequent rider of public transportation, I have gotten over the annoyance of people wearing headphones blasting music so loud that I can think "Wow, I never realized that that was what that lyric was about." I had to as a means of survival. Yes, I still find it incredibly rude but I can block it out. (Though you would think that those trendy, gigantic $200+ headphones would feature some sort of noise absorption technology). 

But I just cannot handle is when people blast music on the speaker of their phone. It is NOT a boom box!

This week I encountered two guys on Metro having what I assume was a Battle of the Bands with their phones. (My vote: The music was terrible on both.) I then encountered a teenage couple so in OMGinLOVE that walking down the sidewalk required a soundtrack of some love song. (I think it was One Direction. And yes, I hate that I know that.) And then the barista at Starbucks who thought that maybe the slowest moving drink line in Starbucks history would enjoy some rap background music, that it might put us all in great spirits. (Spoiler alert: The slowest moving drink line in Starbucks history did not enjoy it.) 

Fast forward to Sunday on the sidewalk, already in a bad mood and there was even more music being blasted at me from someone's phone. I was about to snap as I glared around the crowded sidewalk trying to figure out who it was. Everyone was a suspect. 

And then I burst out laughing because I caught the suspect red handed. That music wasn't anyone's phone, it was the coming from the speakers of restaurant patio I was walking past. 

You know your bad mood has hit rock bottom when you get mad at a giant patio.

(Though, note to the restaurant, if the music you are playing on your very nice patio sounds like it's being blasted from an iPhone, you might want to look into upgrading your sound system.)

But that funny little moment did put me in a slightly improved mindset to face the Apple store, a store I hate going to in the best of moods, so maybe it was a blessing in speakerphone disguise.  

Here's to a week of interacting with humans, small appliances, and maybe even a restaurant patio or two!


  1. I can't stand speaker phones in public. I'll actually take it one step further: I don't even like the idea of people overhearing me talking on the phone at all, speakerphone or not. I feel like everyone in our pod knows way too much about one another's mortgages or leaky faucets. They don't need to know my problems. So I've carefully staked out a claim on a spot, far away from prying ears. Some may call that overkill but I say, "If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing!"

  2. This post got my day off to a great start. SO FUNNY! From someone dream-annoying you (SO can relate!) all the way to the nervy patio blasting its annoying music, you made me laugh, which I really needed, so THANKS!