Lately my attention span is about 4.7 seconds. Unless there is a nap involved. Then I am totally focused. So I am trying to tailor my writing to my attention span. And when I see this Five Things Friday post popping up everywhere, I thought That's it! Something conducive to my attention span! I can write about five random things from the week pretty easily. I think.
Disclaimer: I have actually only seem this Five Things post on blogs that I would call "mommy blogs." Since my post contains no photos of kids wearing smocking or all things monogrammed, I am not sure I am allowed to participate. But just in case, I gave my plant a monogram. In Lilly Pulitzer colors even!
That monogram would stand for "Miraculously Not Dead" because I have no idea how that plant is still alive. At one point, I forgot to water it for TWO MONTHS. Sometimes I move it out of the way and forget about it and it has no light for days on end.
1. I am in the midst of painting my bathroom. I feel like I have been in the midst of it since June. I procrastinated a bit and then decided I wanted a new mirror so I put off painting because I would just have to paint again where the current gigantic mirror is. In the mean time, I am removing old towel racks that I never use and need to patch up some holes. (I cannot do many household DIY things. But I can plaster holes. And that's about it.) But I did not quite get around to the patching up portion this weekend. The removing portion was more than enough work. So I had these holes in the wall that will be there until this weekend because I generally have zero free time during the work week. And one of my top fears in life is a snake crawling through the holes in the wall or piping or something. Because it happened on an episode of Home Improvement once and I have been traumatized since then. Damn you Tim Allen and your cheesy sitcom.
So currently I have cupcake duct tape over the holes. For peace of mind. Because cupcake duct tape would totally keep snakes from crawling through.
2. Even though I love going to both stores, there is generally only once or twice a year that I NEED to go to Staples or The Container Store. Somehow this ALWAYS coincides with Back to School. I live close to American University so you can imagine what the nearby Container Store looks like during dorm move-in time. You would find me rocking back and forth in the corner saying "too many people" over and over again. So I have put off that errand. But I never really thought people did their back to school shopping at Staples. So I stopped in on Sunday night. The line wrapped around the store. For reference, I have been in this Staples a hundred times and I have never seen a line ever. So I put off that errand too. And then remembered why I love online shopping.
3. I have been incredibly bored with my hairstyle. My hair has been looking super healthy lately and I love the color but I look in mirror and the style is just blah. So I have started using one of those curling rods that all of social media raves about. The kind without a clip that you have to wear a mitten to use so you do not burn your hand. As a completely uncoordinated person, I managed to only burn myself once while trying it for the first time. Victory is mine. Well except for the major burn on my left forearm. I liked the end result. But I need to practice it a bunch more. Especially in the back of my head. It looks pretty good except for this two inch piece in the back that I think I need a Go Go Gadget Arm to reach. So experts, what's the trick to curling that back of the head piece?
4. Canned black beans seem to sell out so fast at the Whole Foods I shop at. It makes me wonder if I live in a neighborhood of canned black bean hoarders. And since they are a key ingredient in my work week lunch salad, their presence or lackthereof on the shelf makes or breaks my weekend shopping trip. So I was super pumped when I grabbed the last can from the shelf last weekend. And then totally angry when I got home and realized someone had put a can of the spicy black beans in the wrong spot.
Angry in one of the ways that seems so justified in the moment but the next day, I’m like “Was I really that upset over a can of beans?” But I am not the biggest fan of spicy foods!!! However, best mistake ever. They are so good. And the spiciness adds a nice kick to my salad. And to a breakfast quesadilla.
5. I think I have reached the age that when back to school time rolls around, I do not get all sentimental and want to be back in college. But you know the one thing about college that was awesome and college students need to fully embrace? You have a ton a free time and so do the four thousand people in the dorms with you. So when someone says "Hey, we should do happy hour!" you literally can go to happy hour right that moment. Because one day, 10 years later, you will say that your friends. And after you all consult your calendars and schedules, you will schedule a happy hour…four weeks from now.
Five Things Friday. I hope I did this right. No kids in smocked clothing, a monogrammed plant, duct tape on my walls, and a canned of black beans. I think I am probably going to get voted off the Five Things Friday island.