When life isn't all puppies and rainbows...

I am very fortunate that my life is pretty much puppies and rainbows most of the time. Very little drama, a fun job, great friends, fabulous family, good health. Stress in my life usually involves deciding between Anthropologie dresses or deciding where to go on vacation. I am just really lucky.

So I tend to not be so adept at handling the moments that are NOT puppies and rainbows. Like yesterday. Let me begin this by saying that growing up in tiny but lovely and safe Coleman, Wisconsin, did not lead to a childhood where I was schooled in street sense. I do know how to navigate around a tractor that's blocking both lanes of traffic, but dealing with crime? Notsomuch. Naturally, I chose to live in what is on-and-off known as America's Crime Capital. My "rebecca sense" usually kicks in when things don't feel right and generally I avoid any scenario that seems sketchy. Common sense more than anything And honestly, I have never had a problem even though my office is located in a rather sketchy neighborhood.

Until yesterday.

After a productive day at work, I caught the same Green Line train that I have been riding for over three years. I sat down in my seat and began to get my mind in weekend mode. Several stops in, a little kid got on. I am awful at guessing kid's ages but he was only about 10 or 12. And he sat down next to me (the train was fairly full at this point). My "rebecca sense" kicked in immediately. Something felt off.

And then he pulled a steak knife out. And started carving the seat. My natural reaction was to get out of that seat but I was sitting on the inside seat, somewhat trapped. It was this point that he turned to looked at me, knife in hand, and said, "If you scream, I'll cut you." He then giggled, and I had to stop myself from throwing up. And I sat completely shaking (actually, the shaking hasn't stopped since it happened). I will say that the train was FULL and no one did anything to help me and I KNOW the two guys across from me saw this who thing. Which kind of made me lose so much faith in humanity. Should have I screamed "He's got a knife!" Maybe, but somehow doing that while trapped in a seat next to him didn't seem like the best idea.

The seconds that followed are kind of vague in my memory. I remember him waving the knife in front of me and me saying something like, "I have to get out of here." And for whatever reason, he then let me out of the seat. I dashed to the front of the moving train. Which at that point stalled in the tunnel due to the train in front of us having mechanical issues. Out of the corner of my eye (i was beyond making eye contact with anyone at this point), I saw the kid walking toward me, getting closer. Then the train pulled into station and I jumped off, dashing toward the Station manager's booth for help.

And at that moment, the magnitude of what had just happened hit me. Some people react to trauma with silence, other's reaction to it with a scream. Not me. I bring the drama. In the rare moments of my life that have been truly traumatizing, my natural, uncontrollable reaction is a full body, heaving sob that I don't think even an Oscar-winning actress could replicate. (So if you happened to be in L'Enfant plaza yesterday at rush hour and saw a girl in a fabulous salmon colored jacket looking like she was a) having a seizure or b) having a nervous breakdown....that was me).

I sprinted up to manager's office, and she immediately helped me out (through what I could tell her through the sobs) and called the Police. While I sat in the station manager's booth (which is very high tech, by the way), all I could think was "I HATE DC" which is sort of inside joke because when Erin used to live in DC, we use to scream "I HATE DC" anytime anything bad happened. Seriously, I would drop a glass and I would scream "I HATE DC." It was more of a coping mechanism than anything. And if ever there were a "I HATE DC" moment....

The Police arrived in what felt like an eternity later (but was probably only 3 or 4 minutes) and took down the details and called in for the train to be searched. The train had already left the station and was a stop or two away. By the time they searched the train, the kid was gone. While the search was happening, the police tried to calm me down with jokes and chitchat. Which I was grateful for but it really didn't work. LOL. While I was standing there, another person came up to complain about the same kid.

The police told me I should have pressed the intercom button and immediately reported it to the train operator. I realize hindsight is 20-20 but even now, pushing the intercom button on the training and yelling that there is a kid with knife while said kid is still on the train with me and I am trapped underground with him still DOES NOT seem like the brightest idea. I really have no idea what I should have done.

So the report was filed and I doubt anything will ever come of it. I will, however, never forget what that kid looked like.

Physically, I am fine except for some rather shakey hands. Any attempt to actually talk about it leads to a return of the full body, heaving sobs. So that may take awhile. More than anything I am just sad that a boy who should be doing little boy stuff instead decided to take a steak knife and threaten people on public transportation.

So that's how my weekend started. ha. And when life gives me lemons, I organize. It's my natural tendency. So I walked to Staples this morning to get things to organize with. While I was looking at file folders and deciding what my 2009 file color scheme would be, a guy stumbles into the aisle, obviously high and his nose was all bloody. Two seconds later, security is escorting him out for trying to buy/steal something he's been known to huff. I guess he was already barred from even entering the store.

Which sent me home to research job opportunities in America's Safest cities. Yes these things can happen anywhere. But at this point, even a false sense of security sounds good.

(Writing this blog was my own little attempt at therapy. And my public service announcement to be careful. I know the masses are descending on this city for inauguration and it will be an amazing event....but please, please be careful.)